Part 7: ARE THEY RELATED ?!?!?!?!?!?!?

The Best. 

Click here for Part 6. 

MICHAEL AND DELMON YOUNG

These similarly terrible baseball players joined forces this year to bring defensive incompetence to the Phillies and have looked incredibly smooth doing so. While Delmon might lack the #class that Michael possesses, he makes up for it when it comes to weak groundouts to the infield and a polarizing presence at the plate. It really is hard to deny the moral differences between these two. they both appreciate negative WAR more than any other name-sharing couple in the majors and that has to count for something.

% CHANCE THEY’RE RELATED: 61%

EVAN AND EVA LONGORIA

I’m just gonna assume that one of their birth dates is a lie and these two are quite obviously twins. I also assume that their parents names are also Eva and Evan, and that they couldn’t be happier about the immense success of their children. Evan is often embarrassed about his twin sister, and doesn’t like talking about her. Eva tries her best to stay connected but Evan, being the stubborn brother, just wants to do his own thing. I don’t blame him. God Bless the Longorias.

% CHANCE THEY’RE RELATED: 98%

GORDON AND DAVID BECKHAM

Once referred to as “a right-handed Chase Utley”, Gordon has been less than stellar in his stint as a major leaguer. Gordon might have more career homers than David, but everyone’s favorite/least favorite futbol star crushes Gordon when it comes to underwear advertisements and Being Married To A Spice Girl. The physical comp is intriguing; they’re both about 6″0 185 lbs. There is long lost brother potential here, although I’d imagine if David was Gordon’s older brother, their parents would be kind enough to tell Gordon that he at least has some financial security once he realizes he can’t hit major league pitching.

% CHANCE THEY’RE RELATED: 44%

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Happy Darvish Day ! (Start #7)

He Will Survive.

Yu Darvish will start today at home against the Boston Red Sox. Here are three examples of Yu Darvish getting excited about being Yu Darvish (among other reasons).

JNFOTD: 5/2/13

It’s been months. I wanna bring this back because Jason Neighborgall’s baseball-reference page remains one of the hidden gems of the entire internet.

In 42.1 career innings, Jason Beckley Neighborgall hit 13 batters.

In 952.1 career innings (and counting), Milwaukee right-hander Yovani Gallardo has hit 12 batters.

Bad Baseball Pun of the Day: R.A. Dickey Is Not Magical Anymore :(

This is a .gif of R.A. Dickey giving up a home run to Brennan Boesch. Brennan Boesch is terrible at major league baseball. R.A. Dickey is supposed to be not terrible at major league baseball. What happened ?

Now he’s just somebody traded for d’Arnaud.

(I’ll be here all week)

.gifs From Last Night: Silly Mike Baxter

Mets-Phillies

  • Good thing the Mets have two other all-star level outfielders to make up for plays like this…
  • To be fair, if there was a giant rawhide sphere barreling through the air in my direction, I would get the hell out of the way too.
  • That’s a lot of advertising concentrated in one specific corner of Citi Field. I count 5. Do you?
  • I like how Baxter turns and is briefly immersed in the possibilities of freecreditscore.com before he realizes the ball is about to drop.
  • It also looks like baseball Jesus just dropped the ball out of the sky because the trajectory of the ball looks like something from Angels in the Outfield.
  • Is that trash on the warning track? Get your shit together, Citi Field.

.gifs From Last Night: Unorthodox Deliveries

Angels-Mariners

Last night in Seattle, Carlos Peguero hit a ball 450 feet to dead center. Somehow, this wasn’t the most extraordinary thing that happened at Safeco that evening. In one fell swoop, Angels right-hander (left-hander?) Garrett Richards revolutionized the art of pitching.

In the potentially groundbreaking .gif above, we see Mariners designated “hitter” Justin Smoak making his way to the plate. Is he trying to gain momentum by running towards the plate a la Happy Gilmore or is something even deeper going on here?

For whatever reason, Richards begins slightly offset to the left of the mound. His delivery begins with the ball in his glove, as most deliveries do. However, Richards has the glove raised and pointing towards first base. He drops his glove cautiously as if he’s catching a very delicate egg, and proceeds to whip his arm around  and release the ball with stunning accuracy. This motion clearly does not allow Richards to take advantage of about 93% of his body, as his right side is just along for the ride and doesn’t play much part in delivering the ball to the catcher. There is an unusual amount of movement in the lower half that includes several steps backward to help Richards make sure he’s still on the rubber. Let’s slow it down.

This .gif allows us to see the incredible conclusion of this play. Smoak, in all his glory, turns on the circus pitch and rips it right back to the pitcher. Richards, who is already pointing at the plate as if he’s prepared for a comebacker, snags the ball with his bare hand. The sheer velocity of the ball propels him backwards, returning him back to a more familiar position at the top of the mound.

Mechanics Report Card

richards chart

We’re gonna keep an eye out for this mystery of a motion throughout the season, but we doubt we’ll see it again any time soon. For one wondrous moment, Garrett Richards changed baseball. We hope it’s not the last time.