These Cleats Are Made For Walking: Puig Approaches

This has been a fun journey this year, keeping track of walk totals on a weekly basis. It gives me an unexplained amount of joy to check FanGraphs on Monday mornings to see who’s been impatient this past week. Yasiel Puig, an undeniable fan of CFB, has clearly taken note of this and has decided to pitch in by allowing me to use his name, Yasiel Puig, in this post.

Thanks, Yasiel Puig. Thank you for not being unintentionally walked once through your first 50 major league plate appearances.

We’ll obviously be watching Yasiel Puig, like the rest of the world, in his KeppQuest to walkless nirvana.

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Bad Baseball Pun of the Day: R.A. Dickey Is Not Magical Anymore :(

This is a .gif of R.A. Dickey giving up a home run to Brennan Boesch. Brennan Boesch is terrible at major league baseball. R.A. Dickey is supposed to be not terrible at major league baseball. What happened ?

Now he’s just somebody traded for d’Arnaud.

(I’ll be here all week)

Fake Yankee News of the Week: Catching Situation Update

Chris(t) Stewart is ugly.

Chris Stewart has officially requested a trade, ESPN reported earlier today. “I’d like to go somewhere cold,” he stated in the interview, “somewhere really cold. Not fake cold like New York or Minnesota, but real cold, like Canada or Russia.”

This news further exacerbated an already sore situation, as it was tragically announced this weekend that Francisco Cervelli and Austine Romine each suffered severed left arms during a pillow fight over the starting job.

In his official press meeting this morning, Girardi responded violently when asked if he missed Russell Martin. “ABSOLUTELY NOT,” he howled, lashing out savagely at the air in front of him.

The manager’s outburst was followed by a moment of complete silence, described by one witness as a “serene calm.” Girardi then stared upwards for about a minute, and, eventually focusing on the confused reporters, whispered, “I’m coming back.”

When asked to elaborate, Girardi officially tendered his resignation as manager and announced his impending comeback. “Call Yogi,” he added. “I’m gonna need a backup.”