Team Cuba Takes Sochi

Unless you live in a cave or in North Korea, you probably know that the Winter Olympics are going on right now in Sochi, Russia. While there are 88 different countries participating, there seems to be one country receiving less media attention than the rest: Cuba. Sure, there have been some political kerfuffles, and yes, it’s not that cold in the Caribbean, but the Cuban national Olympic team deserves more recognition. Don’t worry peons, the BBQ is here to offer up unmatched coverage of all things Cuba:

Downhill Skiing

Cuba Downill

Free agent Kendrys Morales takes some time off from contract negotiations and hits the slopes in the downhill for Team Cuba

Figure Skating

Cuba Ice Skating

Our hero Yoenis Cespedes and his partner Leonys Martin go for the Flying Lotus in figure skating pairs

Ski Jumping

Cuba Ski Jump

 New White Sox slugger Jose Dariel Abreu catches some air in the men’s ski jumping competition. Who needs a helmet anyway?

Speed Skating

Cuban Speed Skating

Martin, Yasiel Puig, and Yuniesky Betancourt get down and dirty on the ice. Yuni is bringing up the rear of course

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These Cleats Are Made For Walking: Blah

I’ll be honest, there isn’t much standing out to me on this fine Monday. The bottom of the walk leaderboard isn’t nearly as hilarious as it usually is, so I’ll just review the usual and mention a few new names.

  • Puig update: Miraculously, Yasiel Puig walked twice on Saturday. These were his first two unintentional walks of the year. He’s at 78 plate appearances on the season.
  • Jeff Keppinger walked two more times last week. He’s now got a total of six walks through 228 plate appearance. The White Sox are also not playing him very much anymore :(

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Puigseases

Recently, terms like Puigmania and Puigsanity have floated around the inter-webs. These conditions are serious and must be taken completely seriously. While not deadly, all Puig-related diseases are extremely contagious. Here is a real list of other “Puig-seases” to watch out for.

Puig-arrhea: Symptoms include an uncontrollable urge to release Puigs in various places.

Puig-abetes: Watch how much Puig you intake because it could effect your blood sugar.

The Chicken Puigs: Tiny Puigs will break out all over your body. Don’t scratch unless you want scars.

ADHPuig: You won’t be able to pay attention to anyone else but Puig.

O-Puig-sity: Nearly two thirds of Americans suffer from this. It’s only getting worse.

Scarlet Puig-ver: If you have heat flashes that only Cuban athletes can satisfy, seek immediate help.

Puig-raines:  A splitting Puig-ache. You have a constant need to swing at the first thing that comes anywhere near you.

Puig-atosis: You breath will start to smell like Puig. And that’s something nobody wants to be around.

Puig-monia: You’ll be vomiting up Puigs for days. Highly unpleasant.

Puig-ingitis: Little Puigs crawl up and down your spinal cord and swing violently at each vertebrae as if they’re first pitch fastballs.

Her-Puigs: It’s exactly what you think it is, and it’s awful. Use protection.

Puig-rectile Dysfunction (PD): If you have a Puig longer than four hours, contact your doctor.

These Cleats Are Made For Walking: Puig Approaches

This has been a fun journey this year, keeping track of walk totals on a weekly basis. It gives me an unexplained amount of joy to check FanGraphs on Monday mornings to see who’s been impatient this past week. Yasiel Puig, an undeniable fan of CFB, has clearly taken note of this and has decided to pitch in by allowing me to use his name, Yasiel Puig, in this post.

Thanks, Yasiel Puig. Thank you for not being unintentionally walked once through your first 50 major league plate appearances.

We’ll obviously be watching Yasiel Puig, like the rest of the world, in his KeppQuest to walkless nirvana.

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