Giants vs. Blue Jays
Author Archives: jakemintz
.gifs From Last Night: Uptown Girl
Giving Up The Game
Playing catch in the backyard was simple, pure, and carefree. Baseball was simply the avenue to a back and forth relationship. No one cared if you threw the ball over dad’s head or if the ball popped out of your mitt when mom threw it back. No coaches, no scouts, no pressure, just the two of us and a cool summer breeze.
Then, you could be whomever you wanted. Assume the role of any big league hero. Announce your name as you stepped up to the plate. Wag your bat like Sheffield. Crouch like Bagwell. We’ve all been there. We all wish we could go back. But we can’t. Because time passes, people age, and the beautiful game of baseball gets harder and harder.
Hiking With Ballplayers
As Jordan correctly informed the internet universe, I have been hiking all week. 85 kilometers in 4 days puts a toll on the mind and the body. As I hiked with my schoolyard compatriots, I thought about which players of based ball might be fun to hike with. Who is going to show me a good time out in the wild outdoors?
Bronson Arroyo
Every camping trip needs a poopface with a guitar and oh boy, does Bronson fit the bill. With his corn rows glowing in the fire’s light, Bronson would play me into a literal frenzy. His music style is perfect for a never-ending night as the embers burn long after dark. As long as he doesn’t break out any of his own music, Bronson would be a great, but dicky asset to any camping trip.
That Awkward Freddy Garcia Thing
So you get back from a 3 day trip on which you had no wi-fi or access to anything baseball related. Most of your life is the same. Same friends. Your belongings are in check. You generally feel the same. But as you sit and ponder, you recognize something is not right. Something has changed. Is it your teeth? No. Is it the smell of your bedroom? No. Then, all of a sudden you realize:
Freddy Garcia is throwing a no-hitter for the Baltimore Orioles against The The Angels Angels of Anaheim.
At first, I struggled with this. First of all, I thought Freddy Garcia was still on the Mariners. (What can I say? My mind is stuck in the late 90’s). Second, it was his first start on the Orioles. His “debut”, one might say. Debuts for old dudes are counter-intuitive oxymorons. Freddy Garcia making his Orioles debut would usually fill up the headlines on a regular day, but somehow it slipped through the cracks.
As I watched more, I realized that Freddy on the Orioles was a good thing. It was the melding of two improbable entities. When impossible comes together, wonder blossoms, sparks fly (whenever you smile). Freddy taught me a lot. He taught me that his age didn’t matter. He taught me that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, colors, genres. Garcia also taught me that change isn’t hard.
Life involves change. People say change is hard. But in baseball, a fastball is hard. A change is slow… stupid. And the only thing slower than a change-up is a Freddy Garcia fastball.
Who Is Bo Jackson?
Who Is This Man?
A man hunched over at the waist. Hands clasped on his knees as a single light shines through his chiseled frame. A battle-worn face presents itself. But who, oh who, is this man?
I Am Bo Jackson
Okay so apparently that’s Bo Jackson. That’s progress. We know his name, but do we really know him? What kind of person is this? What makes him tick? Who is Bo Jackson?
What Sports Does Bo Jackson Play?
Bo Jackson seems to be an athlete so we should figure out what sports he plays. We can eliminate hockey, tennis, and chess (slightly racist). That leaves basketball, baseball, football, and cricket. Let’s go to the tape.
Well it seems to be a football that he rubs in his armpit so that’s sport number one. Is that a cricket whacker or a baseball slapper? Indiscernible. We’ll go with Cricket.
Will He Let Me Borrow A Hat?
My head is cold and I would like a hat, but I don’t have one. Hey Bo Jackson do you have a hat I could borrow?
That’s very kind of you, Bo Jackson. Thanks!
What IS Bo Jackson?
I’m pretty sure he’s saying “I am a husband and I am a farmer”. What is he farming? Oats? Cows? Organs? Is Bo Jackson an organ farmer? Is he an organ farmer or an Oregon farmer?
Has Bo Jackson Been Successful In Life?
Clearly a fine collection of Bo’s farming trophies. He also seems to store his farming trophies (what is a farming trophy?) in a nice conference room with at least three swivel chairs. That’s success if I ever saw it.
Did Bo Jackson Just Soil Himself?
Bo. Did you wee wee?
Bo wee weed.
Younger Wong
- Good to know that Older Wong won’t be entered in the lottery.
.gifs From Last Night: Silly Mike Baxter
Mets-Phillies
- Good thing the Mets have two other all-star level outfielders to make up for plays like this…
- To be fair, if there was a giant rawhide sphere barreling through the air in my direction, I would get the hell out of the way too.
- That’s a lot of advertising concentrated in one specific corner of Citi Field. I count 5. Do you?
- I like how Baxter turns and is briefly immersed in the possibilities of freecreditscore.com before he realizes the ball is about to drop.
- It also looks like baseball Jesus just dropped the ball out of the sky because the trajectory of the ball looks like something from Angels in the Outfield.
- Is that trash on the warning track? Get your shit together, Citi Field.
.gifs From Last Night: Unorthodox Deliveries
Angels-Mariners
Last night in Seattle, Carlos Peguero hit a ball 450 feet to dead center. Somehow, this wasn’t the most extraordinary thing that happened at Safeco that evening. In one fell swoop, Angels right-hander (left-hander?) Garrett Richards revolutionized the art of pitching.
In the potentially groundbreaking .gif above, we see Mariners designated “hitter” Justin Smoak making his way to the plate. Is he trying to gain momentum by running towards the plate a la Happy Gilmore or is something even deeper going on here?
For whatever reason, Richards begins slightly offset to the left of the mound. His delivery begins with the ball in his glove, as most deliveries do. However, Richards has the glove raised and pointing towards first base. He drops his glove cautiously as if he’s catching a very delicate egg, and proceeds to whip his arm around and release the ball with stunning accuracy. This motion clearly does not allow Richards to take advantage of about 93% of his body, as his right side is just along for the ride and doesn’t play much part in delivering the ball to the catcher. There is an unusual amount of movement in the lower half that includes several steps backward to help Richards make sure he’s still on the rubber. Let’s slow it down.
This .gif allows us to see the incredible conclusion of this play. Smoak, in all his glory, turns on the circus pitch and rips it right back to the pitcher. Richards, who is already pointing at the plate as if he’s prepared for a comebacker, snags the ball with his bare hand. The sheer velocity of the ball propels him backwards, returning him back to a more familiar position at the top of the mound.
Mechanics Report Card
We’re gonna keep an eye out for this mystery of a motion throughout the season, but we doubt we’ll see it again any time soon. For one wondrous moment, Garrett Richards changed baseball. We hope it’s not the last time.
.gifs From Last Night: Joey Shats
Blue Jays-Orioles
- Here we see Adam Lind, Edwin Encarnacion, Mark DeRosa and Jose Bautista ducking for their lives.
- Edwin’s reaction is similar to that of a small child getting a spider shoved in his face
- Bautista’s dodge is clearly the most impressive, as he woulda gotten that ball right in the face.
- You have to wonder why DeRosa bothered getting out of the way; you would think as the Veteran Presence he would take one for the team to stop the team’s real superstar from getting hurt.
- It’s unclear who that is shielding his head at the end of the frame on the far left, but that is technique form if I ever saw it.
- The batter of this foul ball was Munenori Kawasaki, who has been responsible for his fair share of amazingly hilarious .gifs as well.
CESPEDES FAMILY BARBECUE 