2013 First Annual MLB Draft Draft


So the draft happened about a week and a half ago, and it got us thinking. What other fun stuff could we draft ? The possibilities are/were endless, but we decided on drafting the obvious: other drafts. The goal was to build the best possible 25 man major league roster using only players selected in the first round of each draft between the years 2000 – 2011. We decided to exclude this year’s draft and last year’s draft on account of it’s way too early to even judge what those players are. We decided to include 2011 since it’s actually produced a few major leaguers already. Also, our rosters must include one designated hitter, two catchers, five bench players, three relievers, six starters, and a closer. But we got creative. To the picks!

  • 1st PICK (JAKE): 2005 draft

This was an easy pick, as it remains the most loaded first round we’ve seen in a long time. Jake immediately receives four of the best players in baseball in Ryan Braun, Troy Tulowitzki, Andrew McCutchen and Justin Upton. Not to mention Jay Bruce, Jacoby Ellsbury, Alex Gordon and Ryan Zimmerman. It was a crazy year on the position side, but this round definitely lacked pitching. The best pitchers taken were probably Matt Garza and Ricky Romero, neither of which made Jake’s final squad.

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These similarly terrible baseball players joined forces this year to bring defensive incompetence to the Phillies and have looked incredibly smooth doing so. While Delmon might lack the #class that Michael possesses, he makes up for it when it comes to weak groundouts to the infield and a polarizing presence at the plate. It really is hard to deny the moral differences between these two. they both appreciate negative WAR more than any other name-sharing couple in the majors and that has to count for something.



I’m just gonna assume that one of their birth dates is a lie and these two are quite obviously twins. I also assume that their parents names are also Eva and Evan, and that they couldn’t be happier about the immense success of their children. Evan is often embarrassed about his twin sister, and doesn’t like talking about her. Eva tries her best to stay connected but Evan, being the stubborn brother, just wants to do his own thing. I don’t blame him. God Bless the Longorias.



Once referred to as “a right-handed Chase Utley”, Gordon has been less than stellar in his stint as a major leaguer. Gordon might have more career homers than David, but everyone’s favorite/least favorite futbol star crushes Gordon when it comes to underwear advertisements and Being Married To A Spice Girl. The physical comp is intriguing; they’re both about 6″0 185 lbs. There is long lost brother potential here, although I’d imagine if David was Gordon’s older brother, their parents would be kind enough to tell Gordon that he at least has some financial security once he realizes he can’t hit major league pitching.