Episode 64: Kyle McDan, Plane Tinder, and Blowing Up Bobbleheads

Welcome to Barbecast 64! After over a month hiatus during which we did a whole bunch of awesome stuff, this god damn podcast is finally back. Our special guest this week (at 23:40) is Kiley McDaniel, the Lead Prospect Analyst over at FanGraphs dot com. We talked to Kiley for lot longer than you’ll actually get to hear, mostly because our conversation was completely derailed in the middle by the Jake-Mintz-Hasn’t-Podcasted-In-A-Long-Time Experience, resulting in a whole lot of garbage that needed to be edited out. Luckily, we got back on track and talked to Kiley about a whole bunch of fun stuff, — mostly Draft related — including:

  • teams’ particular strategies when it comes to drafting “unsignable” players
  • Plane Tinder
  • the Josh Naylor surprise and the advantages of playing for the Canadian National Team
  • enormous 1B/DH type prospects that have no position but can mash
  • how D-III players can get drafted
  • how Jake can get drafted
  • …and more!

After Kiley (at 1:25:52), we participated in our 50th (!!!) B-Ref Battle of extraordinary old baseball names. Our database of all past B-Ref names will be up on the site within the next week. (It’s incredible that we’re still doing that segment but we love doing it every week and don’t plan on stopping anytime soon). Next (at 1:48:13), we brought on that Lana Berry person for her customary Tales From Logdog, in which we discussed the Cardinals hacking fiesta, and what we should do with our Mariners Macklemore bobblehead. We concluded (at 1:57:00) with some general updates on our last month, our trip, Jake’s college baseball team, and our plans for the rest of the summer. It’s good to be back. Thanks for listening <3

Music: In honor of Kiley’s affinity for airhorns, it’s a whole bunch of airhorn remixes. Enjoy!

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2013 First Annual MLB Draft Draft

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So the draft happened about a week and a half ago, and it got us thinking. What other fun stuff could we draft ? The possibilities are/were endless, but we decided on drafting the obvious: other drafts. The goal was to build the best possible 25 man major league roster using only players selected in the first round of each draft between the years 2000 – 2011. We decided to exclude this year’s draft and last year’s draft on account of it’s way too early to even judge what those players are. We decided to include 2011 since it’s actually produced a few major leaguers already. Also, our rosters must include one designated hitter, two catchers, five bench players, three relievers, six starters, and a closer. But we got creative. To the picks!

  • 1st PICK (JAKE): 2005 draft

This was an easy pick, as it remains the most loaded first round we’ve seen in a long time. Jake immediately receives four of the best players in baseball in Ryan Braun, Troy Tulowitzki, Andrew McCutchen and Justin Upton. Not to mention Jay Bruce, Jacoby Ellsbury, Alex Gordon and Ryan Zimmerman. It was a crazy year on the position side, but this round definitely lacked pitching. The best pitchers taken were probably Matt Garza and Ricky Romero, neither of which made Jake’s final squad.

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The Most Predictable CFB Post of All Time: The Best Names of the 2013 MLB Draft

You were expecting a list of the best names from this year’s First Year Player Draft ?

Arizona Diamondbacks: 

  • Pick #300: RHP Jimmie Sherfy – University of Oregon (Oregon)
  • Pick #750: RHP Bud Jeter – Presbyterian College (South Carolina)
  • Pick #840: RHP Jimmy Shuttlesworth – Faulkner University (Alabama)
  • Pick #900: 2B Denver Chavez – Cal Poly-San Luis Obispo (California)
  • Pick #1050: RHP Tyler Toyfair – University of Massachusetts Lowell (Massachusetts)

Atlanta #BARVES:

  • Pick #223: RHP Ian Stiffler – Somerset Senior High School (Pennsylvania)
  • Pick #283: 3B Dylan Manwaring – Horseheads High School (New York)
  • Pick #313: 3B Ian Hagenmiller – Palm Beach Central High School (Florida)
  • Pick #793: RHP Dakota Dill – Sul Ross State University (Texas)
  • Pick #913: RHP Sterling Sharp – North Farmington High School (Michigan)

Baltimore Orioles:

  • Pick #61: C Chance Sisco – Santiago High School (California)
  • Pick #399: RHP Jimmy Yacabonis – Saint Joseph’s University (Pennsylvania)
  • Pick #909: SS Federico Castagnini – Creighton University (Nebraska)
  • Pick #1029: RHP Parker Bugg – Rancho Bernando High School (California)
  • Pick #1179: LHP Augey Bill – University of Arizona (Arizona)

Boston Red Sox:

  • Pick #45: RHP Teddy Stankiewicz – Seminole State University (Oklahoma)
  • Pick #233: OF Forest Allday – University of Central Arkansas (Arkansas)
  • Pick #713: 3B Jantzen Witte – Texas Christian University (Texas)
  • Pick #743: RHP Derik Beauprez – Cherry Creek High School (Colorado)
  • Pick #923: 1B Ryan Rippee – Jefferson College (Missouri)

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Jake’s Draft Trinkets

Hello all. The draft! Yay!!!!

Houston Astros: March Apple

  • I totally thought Kevin died, good to see he lives on.
  • I’m sure Appel will fit in great in the most Christian city in America? Maybe?
  • I love Appel’s floor almost as much as Appel loves Jesus Christ.

Chicago Cubs: Crisp Rye Ant

  • Kerry Wood in the house is giving everyone the sads.
  • Two Christs in a row.
  • “Jayson Werth, Troy Glaus, and Pat Burrell rolled into one.”

Colorado Rockies: Joan Ass Thing Ray

  • Think about just how far he could throw in Coors.
  • Can’t tell if this is a Superman ad or Gray’s fastball. Huzzah.

Minnesota Twins: Cold Steward

  • Good to see Tony Oliva’s wilting face.
  • From Tomball, Texas, which sounds like a game Tom made up.
  • Player Comparison: Josh Beckett (Does that mean he golfs and acts like a drunk hobo too? Go Twins!)

Cleveland Indians: Clit Rager

  • Rumor around town is that Indians will take hometown kid Sitting Bull.
  • Do you want some sushi with that ginger?
  • That is the least Indian looking Indian ever, besides Nick Swisher.
  • Frazier is clearly ecstatic to be going to Cleveland… said no one ever.

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Hate-Watching the 2013 NFL Draft: A Timeline

“Come forth young players of the football, and prepare for thy first concussion.”

***

I don’t watch football anymore. I tried to watch the NFL Draft. This is how it went.

7:47 PM: ESPN cuts away to what is most likely their final commercial before the draft begins. There is an intense montage showcasing three athletic looking humans that I have never seen in my life. One of them is named Geno.

7:52 PM: Mel Kiper is yelling at me about Geno’s mobility. They don’t seem to be listing his home to first time, so it’s hard to say how fast he actually is.

7:57 PM:  They’re discussing potential top pick Eric Fisher who is approximately 7″4 and 478 lbs. He apparently plays on the offensive line which I assume is a line of similar 20 grade bodies who only profile at first base.

8:02 PM: Chris Berman seems already be intoxicated and I’m reminded that I know nothing about football anymore. I am delightfully content with this. “It’s as if we’re kicking off the season tonight!”, Berman exclaims. No. Just no.

8:04 PM: Commissioner Roger Goodell gives heartwarming introduction. While attempting to remember the victims of the West, Texas and Boston bombing tragedies, he is booed mercilessly by the drunken ballfoot fans of New York. USA chants break out. What the hell is this?

8:11 PM: Kiper mentions trading down for someone named Ryan Madson. I was almost positive he was on the DL, but maybe he’s draft eligible…? Not sure this would be the best career move for him. While admittedly the role as Angels closer is an intimidating task, entering the League of National Football seems ill-conceived.

8:12 PM: Barkevious Mingo sounds like an awful, awful disease. And is unquestionably straight from Key & Peele.

8:17 PM: The aforementioned unfathomably large Fisher is taken number one overall by the Kansas City Chiefs. It’s nice to be reminded that the #BARVES and the Indians aren’t the only professional teams left offending Native Americans on a daily basis.

8:20 PM: I switch over to the Reds-Nationals game and am instantly more entertained by Bronson Arroyo’s facial hair than anything that has happened in the NFL Draft so far. Bryce Harper doubles down the left field line because duh.

8:31 PM: Berman is yelling random stuff at Kiper and Jon Gruden and they literally don’t know how to respond, resulting in an uncomfortable amount of silence.

8:33 PM: The Raiders trade their pick to the Dolphins for some reason that I don’t care about but man oh man I wish teams could trade draft picks in the MLB draft.

8:35 PM: Miami takes a guy named Dion Jordan who is on the phone in tears and an underwhelming bow-tie. Gruden looks mortified. HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO HIM ?!?!?!?!?! When asked about the trade, Jordan explains to Suzy Kolber “it surprised me, cause it’s my first time”. As opposed to…?

8:43 PM: I’m reminded that a lot of the music played over ESPN football highlights sounds like it’s straight from Mario Kart 64. The E-A-G-L-E-S take another large human named Lane Johnson. Lane’s VIP table in the back includes a young woman with braces (who I can only assume is related to Alcides Escobar) and a short old man with a 70 grade mustache and a cowboy hat.

8:47 PM: Chris Berman compares the draft to playing with Legos. Not sure where to go from here.

8:51 PM: With the fifth pick, The Lions take a guy who is apparently from Ghana named Ezekiel Ansah. He gives who I presume is his mother an extremely slow hug. He has cornrows and is wearing hipster glasses that I’m 83% sure do not have lenses. Wait no, 100% sure. Wow. Apparently he plays football.

8:55 PM: The Cleveland Oranges take Mingo. He looks like a fine upstanding citizen but more importantly HIS NAME IS LITERALLY BARKEVIOUS MINGO. HOW EVEN

9:10 PM: The St. Louis Rams take speedy WR Tavon Austin. Would Tavon be better than Trayvon in center field? These are the vital questions that ESPN fails to ask.

9:17 PM: The Jets are about to draft someone and everyone is going to boo. It’s the excessive pitching change of the NFL Draft.

9:18 PM: The Jets draft someone and everyone boos.

9:27 PM: The Titans, my favorite team as a child (RIP Steve McNair) draft an immense offensive lineman from Alabama who apparently could not find a jersey that fit him during his entire career there. Yay?

9:31 PM: I can’t take it anymore. I’m off to make more Darvish .gifs.

<3