Monthly Archives: August 2013

Episode 3: I Bless Tim Raines

by jakemintz

[audio http://traffic.libsyn.com/cespedesfamilybarbecast/barbecast-3-bless-tim-raines.mp3]

It’s the third episode of the Barbecast sponsored by Jordan’s 11 year old brother David. Our musical guest this week is unfortunately Jake on the piano again, but we improvised and came up with a fantastic melody for you all to enjoy during the breaks. The e-mails were far from plentiful but they were most definitely interesting; we talked about improved names for home runs, what the ultimate player would look like, and the most important question anyone can ask regarding Mike Trout, Bryce Harper and Giancarlo Stanton. Our special guest is Zach Mortimer (#FollowMort #SingleMortDays) from the press box in Wilmington, Delaware. We talked a bit of baseball and then Mort gave us incredibly emotional advice for our soon-to-be college lives. Baseball talk was limited because we wanted to play MVP Baseball 2004. Thanks for listening <3

iTunes link:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cespedes-family-barbecue-cespedes/id683535357?mt=2

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Trade Deadline Grades: Fathers

by jakemintz

Sand Ago Fathers

Players Acquired:

  • Ink Hendy

ANALYSIS:

  • Kennedy has two daughters so this is a move typical of the Padres who are always looking to pick up padres to play for the Padres, you understand compadre?
  • Pitching in Petco means it’ll be much easier for him to pick up supplies for his dog, cat, and three gerbils
  • By going to San Diego, Ian is furthering himself from the career path of his grand uncle John F. Kennedy.

GRADE: 6th

  • You have no idea what you are and neither does anyone else. People keep saying you are a couple of years away but come on, are you really? Probably not. It probably won’t get better for you and you’ll probably just keep picking your nose in class until you turn 35. What does this have to do with baseball? Chicken.

The Cespedes Family Barbecast Episode 1: The Frustrating Birth

by Jordan Shusterman

It’s the moment that all (5) of you have been waiting for. It wasn’t easy labor, but the Cespedes Family Barbecast was birthed last night and oh boy is it an ugly child.

It’s the inaugural episode of the Cespedes Family Barbecast which means technical difficulties galore and a whole lot of bad jokes. This week’s episode is sponsored by The Bar That Used To Employ Tom Wilhelmsen. A shocking number of people wrote us e-mails which included fantastic questions on moustaches, the Cubs farm system, dodgeball and which piece of baseball equipment we’d want to be. Our guest is internet superstar Craig Goldstein (@cdgoldstein on the Tweeterz) who writes for FakeTeams and DynastyGuru. We discussed a plethora of riveting topics with Craig including Jeremy Guthrie, Van Morrison and Kyle Farnsworth’s anger problems. We reviewed our trip to Hagerstown to see the Suns face the Kannapolis Intimidators and then talked about TRUE NUMBER ONE STARTERS. You can e-mail us at cespedesfb@gmail.com and find us on the Twitter @CespedesBBQ. Also like us on facebook because why not?

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“Music” courtesy of gmcfosho: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVUyyHYkBHk

Trade Deadline Grades: Ass Trolls

by jakemintz

Who’s Town Ass Trolls

Players Acquired:

  • Kai Ells Myth
  • Joe Shader
  • L.J. Hoes

ANALYSIS:

  • The Astros are going to have the greatest AAA team of all time in 2016. The citizens of Oklahoma City should get the lube out because it’s going to get hot and heavy.
  • Any time you can pick up hoes, you do it.
  • Did I mention his name is Hoes?
  • Hader is a tall projectable lefty, just like your mom.

GRADE: 11th

  • Get ready for the hardest year of your lives Astros fans. Junior year might be really rough, but don’t worry it gets way better next year. Just tough it out and do your SAT stuff and you’ll be fine.