The actual baseballs are over and winter has set in, which means it’s time to talk about shirts. We are resuming our Top 10 Shirsey lists because we don’t have anything else to write about right now. So sit back, relax, and get ready to spend some money on some old shirts you don’t want or need.
Click here for the rest of our Top 10 Shirsey lists
1. Carlos Baerga
Size: XL
Current Status: Available
Website: eBay
Price: $9.99 + $4.95 Shipping
eBay Description: “It measures 23″ armpit to armpit”
Player Notes: Baerga was only on the Mets for three years. He was traded to New York from Cleveland for Jeff Kent and Jose Vizcaino. I don’t think it’s true, but the internet tells me that Carlos Baerga was on the Nats in 2005. My favorite thing about Carlos Baerga is that he was a delegate for Rick Santorum in the 2012 Republican Primary. Carlos Baerga and Rick Santorum go together like peanut butter and jean shorts.
Shirsey Notes: The three years Baerga spent as a Met were 96′, 97′, and 98′, which means that this shirsey is at least 16 years old. Without carbon dating we’ll never know for sure, but there’s a good chance this is the oldest shirsey on the internet. This artifact, criminally undervalued at only $9.99, doesn’t belong in the drawers of some New Yorker’s childhood bedroom. A relic like this deserves to be displayed prominently in a museum and I will not rest until it is so. In other news, I think I just wrote the script for the next Indiana Jones movie: Indiana Jones and the Legend of Baerga.
2. Kaz Matsui
Size: M
Current Status: Available
Website: eBay
Price: $25.00 buy it now. $9.00 starting bid.
eBay Description: “This is a pair of black Majestic New York Mets Crossbar Synthetic shorts in a size S. I will also throw in a free Kazuo Matsui name and number shirt in a size M. I need to pay my property tax bill.”
Player Notes: Kaz Matsui holds one of the most absurd records in MLB history that you probably didn’t know. He’s the only player to hit a dinger in his first at-bat of his first three seasons. He was also the first Japanese infielder to ever sign with a MLB team. This is a montage of photos from only Kaz’s time on the Astros that is set to a song called “Ganja Smuggling.” YouTube is an amazingly weird place.
Shirsey Notes: By far the most unique thing about this shirsey is that the seller is literally giving it away for free. Sure you have to fork over a few bucks for an old pair of shorts, but you get a KAZ MATSUI SHIRSEY FOR NOTHING. Makes you think that there must be something particularly fishy about those shorts. Also, I don’t know a lot about paying taxes, but I don’t think selling a pair of shorts and a Kazuo Matsui Mets shirsey is going to get the job done.
3. Mike Piazza
Size: M/XL
Current Status: Available
Website: eBay
Price: $12.50
eBay Description: “Shirt is BRAND NEW, NEVER WORN, with TAGS ATTACHED. Image on the shirt is screen printed (front & back), with GLITTER (see pictures)”
Player Notes: Mike Piazza is maybe the greatest Met of all time. It’s either him, David Wright, Dwight Gooden, Drew Gooden, or Shingo Takatsu. It might be any of those guys, but it’s actually not because it’s definitely Benny Agbayani. Here’s a video of Mike Piazza doing the Joe Mauer Head and Shoulders ad 15 years before Joe Mauer did it.
Shirsey Notes: There are certainly questions about whether or not this… thing should qualify as a shirsey. The term used throughout the post to describe this entity is “Jersey Dress Shirt.” This is the perfect gift for anyone still living in 2004.
4. Omar Quintanilla
Size: N/A
Current Status: Not Available
Website: Twitter
Price: N/A
Player Notes: Omar Quintanilla is one of those guys most people assume is from a Latin-American country, but is actually just from Texas. Aside from this amazing picture in which he looks absolutely stoned, Omar is known for having a last name that sounds like quesadilla. He has 6 seasons with a negative WAR, which looks pretty awful until you realize that he is one of the best 2,000 baseball players in the world.
Shirsey Notes: Thanks to Twitter user @molliegalchus for sending this one in. She also let me know that she and her father have matching Omar Quintanilla shirseys, one Orioles and one Mets. Mollie, I don’t know if you’re married, but I hope that at your wedding you and your father do that father-daughter dance thing in your matching Omar Quintanilla shirseys. I assume that’s what every girl dreams about her wedding night. I’ll arrange a slow dance version of “Meet the Mets” just for you and your father. Another idea, all the groomsmen wear Orioles Quintanilla shirseys and all the bridesmaids wear Mets Quintanilla shirseys.
5. Jerry Seinfeld
Size: N/A
Current Status: Not Available
Website: Twitter
Price: N/A
Player Notes: Seinfeld slugged .424 in 1996 with 3 RBI’s in 6 at-bats in a Wiffle ball game at the beach with his kids. A combination of a below-average hit tool, a significant lack of athleticism, and an inability to avoid distractions off the field stunted Jerry’s developmental growth and restricted him from ever making it to the majors.
Shirsey Notes: THIS IS THE MOST METS SHIRSEY OF ALL TIME. It’s not really all that close. Most people know that it’s a proven fact that 85% of Mets fans are Jewish dads who grew up on Long Island and know every single line of every single Seinfeld episode. Thank you @mkraust. I can only assume that your Rabbi gave you this for your birthday.
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