Episode 60: Junius and the Baker


Welcome to Barbecast 60! Our special guest this week (at 27:15) is veteran catcher and Twitter All-Star John Baker, who is currently with Triple-A Tacoma in the Seattle Mariners organization. Live from the depths of the Albuquerque Isotopes ballpark, John talked to us about a whole bunch of stuff, including…

  • Getting traded for Wade LeBlanc
  • Lance Cormier (!!!)
  • Coming up with the Moneyball A’s
  • Recovering from Tommy John as a position player
  • Facing Aroldis Chapman
  • Aroldis Chapman
  • Meeting 21-year-old Nelson Cruz
  • Jesus Montero’s side of the ice cream sandwich incident
  • …and more!

After we talked to John (at 1:06:20), we commenced in our weekly B-Ref Battle which resulted in a lengthy conversation about a metal band named Junius (this week’s musical guest). It was strange. After B-Ref (at 1:40:35), Tales from Logdog with Lana Berry covered Yasiel Puig’s reported desire to cut down on batflips as well as a #BeefinWithLana update. We concluded with a brief discussion about Josh Phelps, an indifferent Varsity Baseball Update from Jake, and some exciting news regarding the fall semester. Thanks for listening <3

Music: Junius

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Episode 59: MC Cullers and The Good Craig

Welcome to Barbecast 59! For the second week in a row, we’ve got two special guests for you guys. First (at 24:20), we talked to Lance McCullers, one of the best pitching prospects in the Houston Astros organization. We talked about a whole bunch of fun stuff, including…

  • Being the son of a former MLB pitcher
  • when he first hit 90 MPH
  • why he dominated in high school
  • winning Gatorade Player of the Year
  • how he dealt with questions about being a starter or a reliever
  • his first experience in pro ball
  • his rough experience in the California League and why it’s good for prospects to fail
  • …and more!

After Lance (at 58:10), our weekly B-Ref Battle of Bombastic Baseball Names commenced and laughs were had by all. Our second special guest this week (at 1:24:38) is NBC HardballTalk’s Craig Calcaterra, who you last heard on the Barbecast wayyyyyyyy back on Episode 19. 40 episodes later, he’s back! This time, we talked to Craig about his beloved Braves and what the hell they have been up to this offseason.  After Craig (at 1:47:35), Tales from Logdog with Lana Berry covered A-Rod’s triumphant return to baseball and quickly led us down a rabbit hole of tremendously strange A-Rod Internet content. We concluded with a brief appreciation for one Tony Womack and a relatively unexciting Varsity Baseball Update. Thanks for listening <3

Music: dope ass Braves music

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iTunes link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cespedes-family-barbecue-cespedes/id683535357

Link to all previous podcasts: http://cespedesfamilybarbecue.com/the-barbecast-cfb-podcast/

Tweeterz: https://twitter.com/CespedesBBQ

Click here to join our Facebook group!

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We were recording our weekly podcast segment with Lana earlier tonight and we started talking about if there were any A-Rod fan clubs. A Lana Berry google search and some internet tunneling later we found the greatest thing of all time.

This is a link to an A-Rod fan page written by someone named Angel that contains unreal “fun facts” about Alex like…Screen Shot 2015-04-09 at 9.36.55 PM








Eventually we stumbled into some of Angel’s other works and we found the holy grail: A-Rod, Jeter, and Nomar fan fiction. You can tell it was written around 2003 because people are still paging each other instead of texting. The A-Rod ones are the best, but they’re all amazing. Here are some of the highlights:

Screen Shot 2015-04-09 at 9.34.38 PM



Screen Shot 2015-04-09 at 9.40.52 PMOf course A-Rod talks to his “sex organs”

Screen Shot 2015-04-09 at 9.44.25 PM


Just read the whole thing people. Read it and love it.

2015 CFBBQ Road Trip

It’s that time of year again, ladies and gentlemen. Opening Day is right around the corner as the major and minor league seasons are set to start spectacularly soon. That means that the two of us will soon be embarking on our third annual CFBBQ SUMMER ROAD TRIP. *applause track* *balloons fall from ceiling* Two years ago, during the 2013 season we drove from our houses in DC to the Field of Dreams in Iowa and made our way back through Chicago and the Midwest League. Last year, we drove from DC to Texas and back, hitting up the Southern, South Atlantic, and Texas Leagues in the process. This year we decided to go even bigger, even further, and even longer.

On our first road trip, Jordan and I joked about one day doing a trip from Petco Park in San Diego to Safeco Field in Seattle. We laughed it off as a pipe dream; no way would we ever have the skills, smarts, or organization skills to pull that off. Well, we still don’t have any of those things, but we’re doing it anyway.

Just like last year, we’ll be writing all about the trip over at Baseball Prospectus. The plan is to put up a post a day chronicling our adventures. There’s a good chance we’ll set up some sort of meet up in at least one of the cities we come to. We love talking baseball and we hope to get the chance to do that with some of you guys.

(Note: If Jake’s college team makes the Division-III playoffs then the entire trip could be revised and/or delayed. Obviously his #1 priority is his team and we will cross that possible issue if that issue arises)

San Diego to Seattle (All Times PT):

Thursday, May 21st: Chicago Cubs @ San Diego Padres – 6:10 PM

Friday, May 22nd: Visalia Rawhide (ARI) @ Lake Elsinore Storm (SD) – 6:00 PM

Saturday, May 23rd: San Diego Padres @ Los Angeles Dodgers – 7:10 PM

Sunday, May 24th: Inland Empire 66ers (LAA) @ Lancaster Jethawks (HOU) – 2:00 PM

Monday, May 25th: High Desert Mavericks (TEX) @ Bakersfield Blaze (SEA) – 12:00 PM

Tuesday, May 26th: Atlanta Braves @ Los Angeles Dodgers – 7:05 PM

Wednesday, May 27th: Maybe Lake Elsinore Storm (SD) @ Inland Empire 66ers (LAA) – 3:05 PM but for sure San Jose Giants (SF) @ High Desert Mavericks (SEA) 6:35 PM

Thursday, May 28th: Modesto Nuts (COL) @ Rancho Cucamonga Quakes (LAD) 7:05

Friday, May 29th: Detroit Tigers @ Anaheim Angels – 7:05 or

Saturday, May 30th: Lake Elsinore @ Stockton (OAK) – 7:00 PM

Sunday, May 31st: New York Yankees @ Oakland Athletics – 1:05 PM

Monday, June 1st: Pittsburgh Pirates @ San Fransisco Giants – 7:05 PM

Tuesday, June 2nd: Pittsburg Mettle @ Sonoma Stompers - 6:05

Wednesday, June 3rd: Driving day

Thursday, June 4th: Tampa Bay Rays @ Seattle Mariners – 7:10 or New Orleans Zephyrs @ Tacoma Rainiers – 7:05

Friday, June 5th: Tampa Bay Rays @ Seattle Mariners – 7:10 or New Orleans Zephyrs @ Tacoma Rainiers – 7:05

Saturday, June 6th: Tampa Bay Rays @ Seattle Mariners – 7:10

Sunday, June 7th: Tampa Bay Rays @ Seattle Mariners – 1:10

Episode 58: Trench Davis Warfare

IMPORTANT NOTE: Jake made an editing error which resulted in the break music playing about 10 seconds later than it’s supposed to. We would normally fix an error as such before uploading, but the result ended up being too hilarious to delete. What it does mean, though, is that the breaks are eerily silent — whatever device you’re listening on is not broken; it’s just us. The music is in there though. We hope you appreciate it’s fashionable tardiness as much as we do, and we promise our production quality will be back up our mediocre standard for Barbecast 59. Thanks!


Welcome to Barbecast 58! It’s been over two weeks since the last Barbecast, so we return with two special guests! Our first special guest (at 29:17) is Howard Megdal, contributing writer to Capital New York, Sports Illustrated, and the author of the upcoming book, “The Cardinals Way”. We talked to Howard about his inspiration for the book, the Cardinals complicated offseason, and his favorite young Cardinals player going forward. We also talked about Howard’s experience being a Mets fan since Jonathon Niese was born, and whether or not he has any hint of optimism heading into the 2015 season.  After Howard (at 57:07), we talked to minor league friend Matt Ball, a pitcher in the darkest depths of the Chicago White Sox system. Matt explained to us the important differences between major and minor league camp in Spring Training, and gave us an idea of his 2015 schedule developmentally. Matt’s great, and we appreciate him making his first (and probably last) career pinch-hit appearance when some of our other minor league friends are too busy to record this stupid podcast with us. After Matt (at 1:20:20), we participated in a spectacularly themed B-Ref Battle…this time, it’s WAR. After B-Ref (at 1:44:10), Tales from Logdog with Lana Berry celebrated 50 EPISODES LOL LANA HOW DID WE MAKE IT THIS FAR and covered Lana’s first experience playing fantasy baseball. We concluded (at 1:51:43) with a brief discussion on Mike Lieberthal and some of the greatest offensive seasons by a catcher in MLB history, as well as an exciting Varsity Baseball Update from Jake, who is now actually pitching for a varsity baseball team on a shockingly consistent basis. Thanks for listening <3


Please rate and review us on iTunes! We’d really appreciate it!


iTunes link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cespedes-family-barbecue-cespedes/id683535357

Link to all previous podcasts: http://cespedesfamilybarbecue.com/the-barbecast-cfb-podcast/

Tweeterz: https://twitter.com/CespedesBBQ

Click here to join our Facebook group!

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2015 CFBBQ Season Previews: San Francisco Giants

Click here to see our other 2015 team previews!

Projected Lineup

CF: Anal Pidgin

LF: Norway Checker Hay Yo Key

C: Puss Tarp Hussy

1B: Brown Down Bout

RF: Underpants

2B: Shop Hand Ink


SS: Bland Haunt Rockford

SP:  Maidstone Butt Corner

SP: Timid Son

SP: Make Gang

SP: Jacob Eevee

SP: Dim Lint Scone

Off-season Haiku

Even year champions!

Bumgarner is famous now

The Panda left you.

Farthest Home Run of 2014

Michael Morse off Tyler Chatwood – 458 feet

How many teams’ farthest home runs of 2014 have been to the opposite field? Still Coors, tho.
Shortest Home Run of 2014

Brandon Belt off Bartolo Colon – 337 feet

The fact that they had time to change the camera angle before the ball landed shows how much hangtime this hilarious dinger had.
Best Names in the Farm System

  • RHP Mike Broadway
  • RHP Austin Fleet
  • LHP Braulio Lara
  • C Myles Schroder
  • C Eliezer Zambrano
  • 3B Reegie Corona
  • 2B Skyler Stromsmoe
  • 3B Kelby Tomlinson
  • LHP Keurin Feliz
  • RHP Nick Vander Tuig
  • SS Ydwin Villegas
  • OF Chuckie Jones
  • RHP Keury Mella
  • LHP Andrew Leenhouts
  • 3B Ryder Jones
  • 1B Skyler Ewing
  • SS Travious Relaford
  • OF Joneshway Fargas
  • OF Shilo McCall
  • RHP Rayan Hernandez
  • RHP Rodolfo Martinez
  • RHP Kendry Melo
  • RHP Nolan Riggs
  • C Kleiber Rivas
  • 2B Christian Lichtenthaler
  • LHP Deiyerbert Bolivar
  • RHP Jonathan Loaisiga
  • RHP Olbis Parra
  • LHP Prebito Reyes
  • RHP Reymi Rodriguez
  • RHP Raffi Vizcaino
  • RHP Weilly Yan
  • RHP Eduin Villa
  • C Mecky Coronado
  • C Alilzon Rodriguez
  • 3B Hengerber Medina
  • OF Stanly German
  • OF Yendrys Gonzalez
  • DH Raiby Barias

Three Bold Predictions

  • Knowing that no matter what they have no chance to win the World Series this year but that they will most certainly win it next year, the Giants trade away all their good players for prospects, cash, and Barry Bonds bobbleheads.
  • After injuries to Pence, Belt, and Casey McGehee, the Giants resign a 50-year old Bonds to play 1B. Bonds slashes .248/.489/.567.
  • Joe Panik does just that.

2015 CFBBQ Season Previews: St. Louis Cardinals

Click here to see our other 2015 team previews!

Projected Lineup

3B: My Carp Enter

RF: Geese Sauna Ward

LF: May Taller Day

1B: Might Add Hems

SS: Chaw Nipple Alter

C: Yawn Dire Mole Cleaner

2B: Cold Hen Wrong

CF: Sanjay

SP: Dad The Main Right

SP: Land Sling

SP: Jaw Nail Achey

SP: Mic Quinoa Ca-caw

SP: Careless Martinis

Off-season Haiku

Shelby for Jason.

That’s all I can remember.

Rest in peace, Oscar.

Farthest Home Run of 2014
Randal Grichuk off Ryan Dennick – 449 feet

You probably thought that Matt Holliday bomb was the farthest Cardinals dinger of the year, but Grichuk’s homer actually edged that one out by a few feet, according to HitTracker.

Shortest Home Run of 2014
Oscar Taveras off Odrisamer Despaigne – 355 feet

One hell of a swing. He will be missed.

Best Names in the Farm System

  • LHP Jonathan Cornelius
  • RHP Jordan Swagerty
  • C Travis Tartamella
  • 2B Breyvic Valera
  • 3B Patrick Wisdom
  • OF Nick Martini
  • RHP Pedro Echemendia
  • RHP Silfredo Garcia
  • RHP Dixon Llorens
  • LHP Iden Nazario
  • C Dante Rosenberg
  • C Gerwuins Velazco
  • 3B Ildemaro Vargas
  • RHP Kyle Barraclough
  • C Steve Bean
  • 3B Ronnierd Garcia
  • 2B Richy Pedroza
  • 1B Justin Ringo
  • OF Rowan Wick
  • LHP Dewin Perez
  • RHP Daniel Poncedeleon
  • SS Leobaldo Pina
  • SS Robelys Reyes
  • OF Kenny Peoples-Walls
  • RHP Jery Then
  • RHP Dailyn Martinez
  • 1B Jesus Ustariz
  • OF Bladimil Franco
  • OF Magneuris Sierra
  • RHP Silas Bohannan
  • RHP Frederis Parra
  • 2B Malik Collymore
  • OF DeAndre Asbury-Heath
  • RHP Sandy Alcantara
  • RHP Franyel Casadilla
  • RHP Will Changarotty
  • RHP Oneiver Diaz
  • RHP Junior Fernandez
  • 2B Wadye Ynfante

Three Bold Predictions

  1. After misreading the giant “Big Mac Land” sign in left field as “Big Mark Land”, Mark Reynolds is so motivated to succeed that he develops a Bonds-like approach at the plate and posts a .951 OPS with 47 home runs, 37 to Big Mark Land.
  2. As the newest Matt on the team, reliever Matt Belisle is forced to change his his first name. Jhonny Peralta suggests “Mhatt”, and it sticks. Mhatt Belisle has a stellar year, with career hhighs in strikehouts and hholds.
  3. John Lackey struggles mightily in the first half of the season and loses his rotation spot to young lefty Marco Gonzales, prompting this exchange:

Mike Matheny: John, we can’t afford to throw you out there every fifth day. We’re putting you in the pen.

John Lackey:                                                                                                                                                                                  

2015 CFBBQ Season Previews: Washington Nationals

Click here to see our other 2015 team previews!

Projected Lineup

CF: Dinners Plan

3B: Anchor Neon Dome

RF: Chasing Wharf

LF: Bright Sharper

1B: Rains Merman

SS: Yawned Despot

C: Whale Sewn Raw Most

2B: You Knee Hellas Cobra

P: Steep Panned Straws Burned

P: Masked Shirts Hurt

P: Gorge Ants Him Or Mine

P: Gorgonzolas


Off-season Haiku

Who needs more hitting?

Give Max Scherzer all the cash!

Didn’t do much else.

Farthest Home Run of 2014

Ian Desmond off Ernesto Frieri – 462 feet

Frieri is perhaps the best example of what can go wrong if your upper-90’s fastball lacks any sort of life. He gives up bombs like this ALL DA TIME.
Shortest Home Run of 2014

Adam LaRoche off A.J. Burnett – 336 feet

This absurd home run had like a seven-second hang time.
Best Names in the Farm System

  • 1B Kila Ka’aihue
  • OF Mark Minicozzi
  • RHP Derek Self
  • C Spencer Kieboom
  • C Andruth Ramirez
  • 2B Cutter Dykstra
  • OF Delta Cleary Jr.
  • RHP Dakota Bacus
  • LHP Kylin Turnbull
  • 3B Khayyan Norfork
  • OF Estarlin Martinez
  • OF Will Piwnica-Worms
  • RHP Wirkin Esteven
  • RHP Wander Suero
  • 1B James Yezzo
  • OF Narciso Mesa
  • RHP Michael Sylvestri
  • C Raudy Reed
  • C Adderling Ruiz
  • 1B Diomedes Eusebio
  • 2B Chris Riopedre
  • RHP Kida De La Cruz
  • RHP D.J. Jauss
  • LHP Yorlin Reynoso
  • RHP Melvi Salazar
  • RHP Maximo Valerio
  • RHP Deibi Yrizarri
  • C Jakson Reetz
  • 3B Younaifred Aguero
  • 1B Dionicio Rosario
  • OF Aldrem Corredor
  • OF Randy Encarnacion
  • RHP Aroon Avila
  • RHP Angher Cespedes
  • RHP Malvin Pena
  • RHP Ramses Rosario
  • LHP Isaias Silfa
  • C Jeyner Baez
  • 3B Francys Peguero
  • 1B Neivy Pilier
  • 1B Davinson Pimentel
  • 2B Joshual Ramirez
  • OF Telmito Agustin
  • OF Aridio Rodriguez

Three Bold Predictions

  1. To maximize the super-rotation-ness of their super-rotation, the Nationals have Max Scherzer, Stephen Strasburg, and Jordan Zimmermann utilize the classic three-pitchers-in-one-large-trench-coat strategy, Vincent Adultman style. They still manage to be shorter than Doug Fister.
  2. Frustrated by having to wait for Trea Turner to actually become a National, GM Mike Rizzo orders a covert operation to extract Turner from his Lake Elsinore apartment in the middle the night during the first week of the season.
  3. Bryce Harper finally faces a pitcher younger than him when 21-year-old Mets second baseman is forced to pitch to Harper during a 23-inning marathon against the Nationals in late April.

2015 CFBBQ Season Previews: Texas Rangers

Click here to see our other 2015 team previews!

Projected Lineup

RF: Skins Hooch Ew

SS: Hell Bison Druze

1B: Bris Feeler

3B: Aid Rained Bell Torrey

DH: Mitchum Whore Land

CF: Lonesome Heart Teen

RF: Shakes Mole Hills Key

C: Rubbing Saunter Keynotes

2B: Roof Need Her Door

SP: Chobani Guy Hardo

SP: Terry Collins

SP: Nicked a Pitch

SP: Go Be Loose

SP: Rocket Wilder

Off-season Haiku

Gallardo: good start.

Down goes Profar, down goes Yu.

Another year of hurt.

Farthest Home Run of 2014

Prince Fielder off Blake Beavan – 446 feet

This Prince dinger came in like the second week of the season. Once everyone on the Rangers roster started dropping like flies, it was hard to expect anyone to hit one farther than this Prince one.
Shortest Home Run of 2014

Donnie Murphy off Fernando Abad – 339 feet

This being a home run might be the only thing that went the Rangers way in 2014.
Best Names in the Farm System

  • LHP Martire Garcia
  • SS Guilder Rodriguez
  • 1B Rock Shoulders
  • RHP Jefri Hernandez
  • RHP Keone Kela
  • 1B J.T. Wise
  • OF Teodoro Martinez
  • RHP Arlett Mavare
  • LHP Yohander Mdnez
  • LHP Ryne Slack
  • 3B Janluis Castro
  • 1B Smerling Lantigua
  • C Sherman Lacrus
  • SS Isiah Kiner-Falefa
  • 3B Tripp Martin
  • 3B Juremi Profar
  • OF Saquan Johnson
  • RHP Easton Napiontek
  • RHP Storm Rynard
  • SS Yeyson Yrizarri
  • 3B Ti’Quan Forbes
  • OF Darius Day
  • RHP Greidy Martinez
  • RHP Argenis Rodriguez
  • C Yohel Pozo
  • SS Brallan Perez
  • OF Yimmelvyn Alonzo
  • DH Andretty Cordero
  • RHP Israel Cruz
  • LHP Gionny Fracchiolla
  • RHP Yancarlos Martinez
  • RHP Yelfri Minoz
  • LHP Nerfy Nunez
  • LHP Yonelvy Pichardo
  • LHP Yhonson Rojas
  • 1B Porfirio Martinez
  • OF Darwin Tovar

Three Bold Predictions

  1. After Nick Tepesch gives up seven runs for a fourth consecutive start, the Rangers decide left-handed Yu Darvish is the best option as their fifth starter. Lefty Darvish finishes the year with a 3.57 ERA in 128 innings pitched.
  2. Struggling to maintain any fan interest when out of the playoff race by mid-June, the Rangers cancel their home games in favor of impromptu home run derbies between Prince Fielder, Joey Gallo, and recently acquired Carlos Peguero.
  3. During their series at Coors Field in July, Rougned Odor hits a game-tying homer off Rockies reliever LaTroy Hawkins, who was drafted nearly three years before Odor was born.

2015 CFBBQ Season Previews: Minnesota Twins

mauer wow

Click here to see our other 2015 team previews!

Projected Lineup

CF: Dance East Bandana

2B: Brain Toaster

1B: Gnome Hour

DH: Kin Dries Per Gas

RF: Toe Re-owner

3B: Trevor Plouffe

LF: Ass Waldorf Arse Here

C: Skirts Whose Hookah

SS: Dead Hardo Sex Crowbar

SP: Phyllis

SP: Swervings Antena

SP: Rink He Note Lasso

SP: Dom Alone

SP: Kale Gimp Son

Off-season Haiku

Full disclosure here…

I’ve absolutely no clue.

Right! They got Ervin!

Farthest Home Run of 2014

Oswaldo Arcia off Andre Rienzo – 468 feet

This video begins with spectacular camera work quickly followed by not-so-spectacular camera work. It’s too bad we can’t see this ball off the bat, but my god did he clear the entire section of seats in right? Oswaldo ain’t messin’ around.
Shortest Home Run of 2014

Oswaldo Arcia off Mike Foltynewicz – 338 feet

That’s what you get for being the tiniest bit late on a 98 MPH fastball low and away: a home run!

Best Names in the Farm System

  • RHP Mark Hamburger
  • SS Argenis Diaz
  • 3B Heiker Meneses
  • OF Mike Kvasnicka
  • RHP D.J. Baxendale
  • RHP Nick Burdi
  • RHP Tim Shibuya
  • 3B Niko Goodrum
  • LHP Mat Batts
  • C Alex Swim
  • SS Engelb Vielma
  • OF Tanner English
  • LHP Cameron Booser
  • RHP J.T. Chargois
  • RHP C.K. Irby
  • RHP Keaton Steele
  • C Brett Doe
  • 2B Will Hurt
  • LHP Onas Farfan
  • RHP Onesimo Hernandez
  • RHP Wilfredy Liranzo
  • RHP Callan Pearce
  • RHP Matz Schutte
  • LHP Michael Theofanopoulos
  • LHP Reyson Zoquiel
  • C Jarrard Poteete
  • C Rainis Silva
  • SS Zaino Henriquez
  • 3B Ruar Verkerk
  • OF Dubal Baez
  • OF Zach Granite
  • OF Amaurys Minier
  • RHP Robener Cabrera
  • RHP Brusdar Graterol
  • RHP Ramses Herrera
  • LHP Jadison Jimenez
  • RHP Johan Quezada
  • LHP Fredderi Soto
  • RHP Huascar Ynoa
  • C Darling Cuesto
  • OF Jet Hernandez

Three Bold Predictions

  • The Twins force center fielder Aaron Hicks to legally change his name to Byron Buxton-Minus-the-Hit-Tool-and-Other-Important-Baseball-Skills-Hicks in order to draw fan interest until the real Byron Buxton is ready to contribute.
  • Taking their affinity for soft-tossing, low-strikeout pitchers to the extreme, the Twins begin signing D3 relievers that top out around 80. Jake starts 25 games for the Twins before his arm falls off in August. He finishes the season with more Tommy John surgeries than strikeouts.
  • Torii Hunter tries to rob a homer, but used to the dimensions of the Metrodome he finds the underratedly enormous right field wall at Target Field rather difficult to jump to the top of. He could use some help.