Baseball is full of acronyms. Everywhere you look, be it a box score, stadium, or Baseball Prospectus, you see acronyms. These acronyms have meaning to us because we know what they stand for. Those three or four or five letters, when strung together, bring to life a particular image in our head.
But what if they didn’t? What if a baseball writer, let’s call him… Thug Doorburn, had an accident and got amnesia? What would these acronyms come to mean to Thug? How would Thug approach this random alphabet soup? I think it would go a little something like this……
What We Think: Earned Run Average
What Thug Thinks: Everyone’s Real Age
Thought Process: “Well, these players have ages” Thug will ponder to himself at night alone on his floral pattern couch. “But are they the real ages….?” Good point, Thug. Good point.
Calculations: Player 1’s Age + Player 2’s age + Player 3’s age…….
League Leader: N/A. This is more of a league wide stat.
What We Think: Batting Average on Balls In Play
What Thug Thinks: Balls that Are Bunted plus Infield Popups
Thought Process: Thug will watch maddeningly as players waste outs with useless bunts. He will realize that the only way to fix this dilemma is to add those bunts to popups to show everyone all the useless outs.
Calculations: It’s pretty self explanatory.
League Leader: Probably either Elvis Andrus or Pete Kozma
COLLEGE DUDES. So we went to college and we decided that on the first saturday afternoon of college there was nothing better to do than to do a baseball podcast. Lucky for you we created this bad boy right here. We talk to Al Chimmichanga of clevelandfan.com and dietribe.com because we wanted to. We touched on other things like the little league world series and Jake’s chances of making the varsity baseball team. Musical guests are Jose Lima and Kevin Goldstein.
This past Saturday night, Heath Bell blew his seventh save of the season. His catastrophic outings have spawned #TheHeathBellExperience and the baseball internet just loves to bash him on a seemingly nightly basis. But what’s his side of the story?
Here is a brief journey into the mind of Heath Bell.
“Welp, another day, another four runs allowed. Might as well wear a questionable graphic t-shirt and take a selfie in an elevator”
“Really? You’ve got a two run lead with the heart of the order coming up and you’re bringing ME in? Hilarious.”
“haha I’m a baseball pitcher”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE BASES ARE LOADED AND NOBODY’S OUT HAHAHAHAHAHAHA”