Seattle Mariners Top 10 Shirseys

Nov6 by jakemintz

Click here to read a primer on our shirsey rankings.

Click here to read the Mariners BP Top 10 Prospects.

System Quote: “When I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and shirseys”.

Seattle Mariners Top Ten:

1. Don Wakamatsu

Size: XXL

Current Status: Available for purchase

Website: eBay

Price: $8.00 + $7.00 Shipping

eBay Description: “You are bidding on a D.Wakamatsu tshirt.”

The Tools: 7 derp; 6+ awesomeness; 8 player obscurity; 6 potential color scheme/design, 6 price

What Happened To The Player in 2013: Wakamatsu served as a professional talent scout for the New York Yankees and just two short weeks ago the Kansas City Royals hired him as a bench couch.

Strengths: You’ll be the only kid in school with a Don Wakamatsu Mariners shirt, I can promise you that.

Weaknesses: You’ll be the only kid in school with a Don Wakamatsu Mariners shirt, I can promise you that. And you’re probably a bit overweight (XXL).

Overall Future Potential: 8; Hall of Fame potential

Realistic Role: High 6; perennial all-star shirsey

Risk Factor/Injury History: Medium Risk; Wakamatsu could get another managerial job.

The Year Ahead: If Wakamatsu does a good job doing whatever the hell bench coaches do, he might be able to get another managerial position next year which would make this shirsey a bit less awesome. But if Donny boy continues doing Don Wakamatsu things then this shirt has a chance to be elite for a long, long time.

Wardrobe ETA: 2014

2. Felix Hernandez Signed by Taijuan Walker (and Brian Hunter)

Size: Youth M
Current Status: Available for purchase
Website: eBay
Price: $8.99 + $4.01 Shipping

eBay Description: “Washed”

The Tools: 6 derp; 7 awesomeness; 2/4/7 player obscurity; 5+ future color scheme/design; 6+ price

What Happened to the Player in 2013: Well, Felix had another stellar season of pitching baseballs until Carlos Peguero’s wife stole a bunch of money from him and then HIS HOUSE CAUGHT ON FIRE. Taijuan Walker also had an awesome season, reaching the majors towards the end of the year while managing to avoid financial fraud. Brian Hunter hasn’t played professional baseball in 10 years and why in the actual shit did he sign this shirt I have absolutely no idea. Maybe it’s not the Brian Hunter who played one season for the Mariners in 1999…or the one the played one season in 1996. Does it matter? Maybe some guy named Brian Hunter ran up to the person getting this shirsey signed by Taijuan Walker and just ambush-autographed it. No clue.

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Houston Astros Top 10 Shirseys

Nov4 by jakemintz

Click here to read a primer on our shirsey rankings.

Click here to read the Astros BP Top 10 Prospects.

System Quote: “The best time to wear a striped sweater, is all the time.”

Houston Astros Top Ten:

1. Hunter Pence Double Printed Shirsey

Size: M

Current Status: Sold

Website: eBay

Price: $8.00 + $4.95 Shipping

eBay Description: “The Medium is a missprint, having the whole decal from the back “Pence 9” printed on the front and the back along with the “Houston 9”

The Tools: 8 derp; 8 not on team anymore; 4 player obscurity; 5 potential design/color scheme; 6 price

What Happened To The Player in 2013: As a derpy scruffy old guy, Hunter Pence put up pretty good numbers for the Giants. He then signed a 5-year, $90 bajillion dollar contract ensuring he won’t be back on the Astros any time soon.

Strengths: First thing that jumps out at you is the double printing on the front of the shirt. Very rare to see such a trait in a shirsey. Most shirts only have the name on the back. This has it on the front and back. True two-way shirt. Top of the line oddity. Good, but not great price hindered by high shipping costs. Expected due to placement on ebay.

Weaknesses: Player relatively well known/still producing at a high level in the major leagues. Despite top end tools, placement on ebay always raises questions about makeup due to disagreements with the shirt’s previous owner(s). The old Astros color scheme feels outdated and uncool right now, but has the projection to be a hot commodity on the market.

Overall Future Potential: 7; one of the best shirts in the game.

Realistic Role: High 6; well above-average shirsey

Risk Factor/Injury History: High risk due to unknown nature of the second shirt and usual question marks that come with eBay.

The Year Ahead: Recently shipped off to a new owner, this shirsey should become a huge part of that owner’s life fairly quickly.

Wardrobe ETA: 2014

2. Kaz Matsui

Size: Unknown
Current Status: Owned by @leistomania93
Website: Twitter
Price: Ask @leistomania93

The Tools: 7 derp; 6 awesomeness; 7 player obscurity; 5 future design/color Scheme

What Happened To The Player in 2013: Matsui played for the Japanese team in the World Baseball Classic. He may or may not have done things in the NPB this year for the Rakuten Eagles. No one is sure.

Strengths: The derp and the player obscurity on this shirt are great. It’s fairly easy to find a Kaz Matsui Mets shirsey, but finding one of Astros ilk is rare indeed. Kaz Matsui always inspires a chuckle in the gut, and I’m sure the lucky owner of this shirt has more gut chuckles than the average fellow.

Weaknesses: Like many of the older Astros shirseys, this scheme is lackluster and uninspiring. Worst aspect is that the shirt is already owned and therefore probably not up for sale.

Overall Future Potential: High 6; potential to ruin several dates for the owner

Realistic Role: 6; occasional all-star shirsey

Risk Factor/Injury History: Low risk. Already out of MLB.

The Year Ahead: If Kaz Matsui can do something insane like appear on a Japanese game show that goes viral or eats Ichiro then this shirt’s stock could rise. More likely that it stays put.

Wardrobe ETA: 2013

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THANK YOU THE FANS

Oct31 by jakemintz

To whomever reads this,

We here at the BBQ started this baseball season with approximately 17 twitter followers. Four of those people were close friends and one was my mother. So we basically had 12 followers, 9 of which HAD to be Twitter bots. We were averaging 10 page views a day.

This baseball season has been the most fun we’ve ever had in regards to baseball. Being able to participate in nincompoopery with all of you was an experience we’ll never forget. Logging on to Twitter every morning and seeing the absurd things that happened the night before was always hilarious. From our Third World Baseball Classic piece, to our takedown of the Microsoft Scouting ad, to that time we put beards on all the St. Louis Cardinals, this season was always da besssssssssssss. And we’ll never forget Shirtless Chris Davis.

GOD BLESS CHRIST DAVIS

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Episode 13: #MUPWATCH, Mamma Jake, and the Return of Loveglove

Oct30 by jakemintz

Because bad luck means nothing to us, Barbecast 13 is here one day before Halloween. We managed to squeeze four guests into one episode. Our special guest this week is Amanda Rykoff, devoted #MUPWATCHer and baseball writer extraordinaire. You can follow her on the Twitterz @amandarykoff. We talked to her about hilariously long extra inning games, stupid World Series narratives, and Yankee Stadium tickets costing more than your house. E-mails were exciting; LITTLE POOP IS BACK. After Amanda, we introduced THE CHRONICLES OF LOVEGLOVE. It’s the return of the official minor league pitcher of Cespedes Family Barbecue, Indians right-hander Kieran Lovegrove. Kieran is in the same organization that just changed their Double-A affiliate’s team name from the Aeros to the RubberDucks so we obviously asked him about that. If you like happiness, go follow Kieran @Lovegrove19. Instead of baseball talk, you get to hear 15 minutes of us having an emotional breakdown with Jake’s mother after the obstruction extravaganza of Game 3. It’s intense. And finally, TALES FROM LOGDOG with our good friend Lana Berry. As always. Thanks for listening <3

iTunes link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cespedes-family-barbecue-cespedes/id683535357

Link to all previous podcasts: https://cespedesfamilybarbecue.com/the-barbecast-cfb-podcast/

Tweeterz: https://twitter.com/CespedesBBQ

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CespedesFamilyBBQ

Click here for the RSS feed

The Great Koji .gifs From Game 5

Oct28 by jakemintz

Koji Uehara is the best because he is Koji Uehara. Bask in the comforting warmth of his awesomeness. Do it. And do it now.

Koji Hug

Koji Gets Ball From Real Major League Player

Koji High Fives

The Dominican Winter League Intro Is Awesome

Oct25 by jakemintz

Today in the Dominican Winter League, the Tigres de Licey faced off against Aguilas. This showdown is the Dominican equivalent of Red Sox vs. Yankees except the game ends before the sun rises the next day. Like most Aguilas games, the game was streamed live online at http://streaming.aguilas.com.do/

Here is the actual video introduction from todays game. The video is exactly how it was broadcast, although I may have added some different music…

FOX would probably run a video of slow motion shots to introduce a broadcast. This shit isn’t FOX.

2013 World Series Drinking Game

Oct24 by jakemintz

We already created a drinking game once this postseason back during the Tigers-A’s ALDS series. We weren’t planning on making another until we realized how necessary it might be for this World Series. Game one was a puke-inducing shitshow of doom and while we hope the Cardinals show up for Game 2, we want to offer you another entertainment option for the rest of the series. Enjoy and drink responsibly.

DRINK ANY TIME…

In-game Cardinals:

Pete Kozma derps
You realize that Shane Robinson exists
You see Tony Larussa
You see Tony Cruz
You see Tony Hawk
Shelby Miller sighting
Trevor Rosenthal throws an off-speed pitch
Daniel Descalso exhibits “grit”
Matt Adams infield hit
Matt Adams steal
Close up of Matt Adams’ face
Albert Pujols hits a home run
Adron Chambers bats because the Cardinals have no other good bench options
You wonder if Joe Kelly really needs those glasses

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Episode 12: How Is That His Sporer?!?

Oct24 by jakemintz

It’s difficult to top last week’s ridiculousness, but Barbecast 12 is here featuring our first ever TWO TIME GUEST Paul Sporer. Unfortunately, Paul’s first episode way back in August was deleted sooooo we had him on again because we like him. We talked to Paul about HIS Tigers, Jim Leyland, the World Series, and I think some other baseball stuff. Another spectacular e-mail segment included questions about Kelly Vs. Avril, ways to improve Cleveland, Chinese Food and postseason songs. Oh, and Big Poop sent in a brilliant short story about his fictional encounter with Jose Fernandez. Then we interviewed my (Jordan’s) roommate Jamie about his dream of being a DH for the rest of his baseball career. Tales from Logdog was messy, but we talked to Lana about the Kanye West proposal among other stuff. Thanks for listening. GO RATE AND REVIEW US ON ITUNES PLEASE. Alright, cool. <3

iTunes link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cespedes-family-barbecue-cespedes/id683535357

Link to all previous podcasts: https://cespedesfamilybarbecue.com/the-barbecast-cfb-podcast/

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