Happy 32nd Birthday Justin Morneau !

by Jordan Shusterman

Yesterday was Minnesota Twins first baseman/designated hitter Justin Morneau’s 32nd birthday. What is interesting about Justin Morneau ?

  • Justin Morneau’s full name is Justin Earnest George Morneau. He is Canadian.
  • Justin Morneau won the 2006 AL MVP. He hit .321 with 34 home runs and 13o RBI.
  • Justin Morneau is only 32 years old.
  • Justin Morneau is 0-14 for his career against Bartolo Colon.
  • Justin Morneau is 0-7 for his career against Ted Lilly.
  • Justin Morneau is 3-3 with 2 home runs for his career against Hiroki Kuroda.
  • Justin Morneau has faced Daniel Bard 5 times. He was unintentionally walked three times, and intentionally walked twice.

Here are some of my favorite pictures of Justin Morneau:

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Happy 29th Birthday Luke Gregerson !

by Jordan Shusterman

Today is San Diego Padres reliever Luke Gregerson’s 29th birthday. What is interesting about Luke Gregerson ?

  • Before the 2009 season, Luke Gregerson was traded to the Padres for infielder Khalil Greene, one of the weirdest looking players of all time.
  • Luke Gregerson has a 2.81 career ERA in 298.1 innings.
  • In 2012, 70% of the pitches Luke Gregerson threw were sliders.
  • For his career, Luke Gregerson has thrown 58% sliders.
  • Luke Gregerson throws a lot of sliders.
  • Luke Gregerson throws three different sliders.
  • Luke Gregerson holds the major league record for holds in a single season, with 40 in 2010.
  • For his career, Chad Tracy is 3-3 with three home runs and 6 RBI against Luke Gregerson. That’s a 5.000 OPS.
  • For his career, David Wright is 1-7 with five strikeouts against Luke Gregerson.

Here are some of my favorite pictures of Luke Gregerson:

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Giving Up The Game

by jakemintz

Playing catch in the backyard was simple, pure, and carefree. Baseball was simply the avenue to a back and forth relationship. No one cared if you threw the ball over dad’s head or if the ball popped out of your mitt when mom threw it back. No coaches, no scouts, no pressure,  just the two of us and a cool summer breeze.

Then, you could be whomever you wanted. Assume the role of any big league hero. Announce your name as you stepped up to the plate. Wag your bat like Sheffield. Crouch like Bagwell. We’ve all been there. We all wish we could go back. But we can’t. Because time passes, people age, and the beautiful game of baseball gets harder and harder.

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These Cleats Are Made For Walking: Can Somebody Notice This ?!

by Jordan Shusterman

Okay, here we are again. It’s the seventh Monday morning of the 2013 season and oh my god Jeffrey Scott Keppinger has still not walked through ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE PLATE APPEARANCES.

There are so many ridiculous things about this that are not being talked about nearly enough.

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Hiking With Ballplayers

by jakemintz

As Jordan correctly informed the internet universe, I have been hiking all week. 85 kilometers in 4 days puts a toll on the mind and the body. As I hiked with my schoolyard compatriots, I thought about which players of based ball might be fun to hike with. Who is going to show me a good time out in the wild outdoors?

Bronson Arroyo

Every camping trip needs a poopface with a guitar and oh boy, does Bronson fit the bill. With his corn rows glowing in the fire’s light, Bronson would play me into a literal frenzy. His music style is perfect for a never-ending night as the embers burn long after dark. As long as he doesn’t break out any of his own music, Bronson would be a great, but dicky asset to any camping trip.

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Happy Darvish Day ! (Start #8)

by Jordan Shusterman

Yu Darvish will start this evening against the Houston Astros. Last time Darvish faced Houston, he was one out away from a perfect game. Since it’s Yu Darvish and since it’s Houston, we can pretty much expect the same thing. So get pumped. Here are three professional Japanese hitters that had absolutely no chance against Yu’s four-seam fastball.

Ugh, kilometers, I know. That’s 97 MPH.

Part 7: ARE THEY RELATED ?!?!?!?!?!?!?

by Jordan Shusterman

The Best. 

Click here for Part 6. 

MICHAEL AND DELMON YOUNG

These similarly terrible baseball players joined forces this year to bring defensive incompetence to the Phillies and have looked incredibly smooth doing so. While Delmon might lack the #class that Michael possesses, he makes up for it when it comes to weak groundouts to the infield and a polarizing presence at the plate. It really is hard to deny the moral differences between these two. they both appreciate negative WAR more than any other name-sharing couple in the majors and that has to count for something.

% CHANCE THEY’RE RELATED: 61%

EVAN AND EVA LONGORIA

I’m just gonna assume that one of their birth dates is a lie and these two are quite obviously twins. I also assume that their parents names are also Eva and Evan, and that they couldn’t be happier about the immense success of their children. Evan is often embarrassed about his twin sister, and doesn’t like talking about her. Eva tries her best to stay connected but Evan, being the stubborn brother, just wants to do his own thing. I don’t blame him. God Bless the Longorias.

% CHANCE THEY’RE RELATED: 98%

GORDON AND DAVID BECKHAM

Once referred to as “a right-handed Chase Utley”, Gordon has been less than stellar in his stint as a major leaguer. Gordon might have more career homers than David, but everyone’s favorite/least favorite futbol star crushes Gordon when it comes to underwear advertisements and Being Married To A Spice Girl. The physical comp is intriguing; they’re both about 6″0 185 lbs. There is long lost brother potential here, although I’d imagine if David was Gordon’s older brother, their parents would be kind enough to tell Gordon that he at least has some financial security once he realizes he can’t hit major league pitching.

% CHANCE THEY’RE RELATED: 44%

Barry Bonds Walked A Lot

by Jordan Shusterman

Jake called me yesterday and informed me that he’s been spending this week hiking over 50 miles. “That’s a lot of walking”, I thought. Do you know who else did a lot of walking ? Barry Lamar Bonds.

For his career, Barry Bonds drew 2,558 unintentional walks and 688 intentional walks. He is the all-time leader in both categories. In other words, Barry Bonds walked over 55 MILES as a major leaguer.

So there’s that.