Author Archives: jakemintz

You Searched What?

by jakemintz

If it weren’t for WordPress’ advanced statistics, we would sit around all day and ponder about how many people from Algeria have ever read the blog (it’s 9 by the way). One particularly great feature of WordPress is that we can see the Google search terms that lead people to CFB.

The top three searches are pretty expected.

Duh. But if you look a bit lower down the list, you’ll find some funky ones. They all fall into three very specific categories.

  • Chris Davis fetishes
  • Random shit
  • Questions we cannot answer

Continue reading →

Andrew Meyer Intro

by jakemintz

Aside from one article written months ago by the Paretzky, every single piece of content on this blog was produced by either myself or Jordan. That’s about to change. We’d like to welcome a dear friend, Andrew Meyer to the CFB squad.

Everyone in this world has problems, it just so happens that Andrew has more than all of us combined. The dude don’t sleep, he’s addicted to buying hats, and he’s a very over-aggressive person. If you listen to the Prodcast you know him all too well. But he can kinda write and he’s certainly our flavor. He won’t write everyday, but when he does we can promise that it will be poignant, tear-jerking, and over the line.

Follow Andrew @dogswithhats

Have a good weekend.

#CFB

.gifs From Last Night: Bourn To Be Derp

by jakemintz

Tigers vs. Indians

  • Oh we’ve totally seen this before. Slugger drives one to the warning track. CF wanders over. Ball bounces off CF and into seats for a home run. All center fielders deal with the shame in different ways. Some freak out, some laugh, some cry. Michael Bourn does all three and more:

“Wait. What? No. No. No.”

Continue reading →

The NBA Draft Lottery: WHAT DOES IT MEAN ?!

by jakemintz

Jake’s home, and what better way to celebrate then watching one of the dumbest exercises in sports?

8:40 PM: Bill Simmons and company are discussing a graphic titled “NBA Lottery Power Rankings”. How does that even make sense…

8:41 PM: White guy walks to podium. He is the senior vice president of NBA security. What that has to do with anything…we have no idea. He could clearly pass as a first baseman/first base coach.

Continue reading →

Why Jose Bautista Followed Us On Twitter

by jakemintz

Jose Antonio Bautista is many things. He is a superstar right fielder for the Blue Toronto Jays. He, like many other major leaguers, hails from Santo Domingo in the DR. He is a well dressed son-of-a-gun. One thing Jose Bautista is not however, is a close personal friend of either Jordan or myself. In fact, the CFB twitter didn’t even follow JoeyBats19 until we realized yesterday afternoon that

Screen Shot 2013-05-16 at 5.34.09 PM

To be fair, it probably doesn’t mean all that much. And he probably doesn’t actually read our stuff. But is Jose Bautista following you on twitter? Probably not. Here is a list of possible reasons for Jose to follow our Twitter:

Continue reading →