Introducing the CFBBQ Best Name Bracket presented by Baseball-Reference

>>> CLICK HERE FOR THE BRACKET <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 1 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 2 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR SWEET 16 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ELITE EIGHT RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR FINAL FOUR RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR CHAMPIONSHIP RESULTS <<<

Names are a fantastic part of baseball. There are so many of them! Here are a few: Jim. Mike. Tom. Astyanax.

Way back on Episode 14 of the Barbecast, a scattered conversation with Jason Wojciechowski eventually led to the discovery of Pretzels Getzien, a right-hander who pitched in the late 19th century whose name we simply couldn’t get over. Within minutes of finding Pretzels, we fell headfirst into the old-timey baseball rabbit hole that baseball-reference.com provides. Our eyes were opened to the careers of players with memorable monikers such as Puddin’ Head Jones, Boileryard Clarke, and Chicken Wolf. Naturally, we wanted more. And so, the B-Ref Battle was born, a segment on the Barbecast where we each present our favorite baseball names that we found over the previous week. As our list of ridiculous names grew (our official list is approaching 400 names), we started having discussions — heated debates, even — over which of one these remarkable names was definitively the best. To attempt to answer this, we’ve compiled a March-Madness style bracket to allow you, the people, to determine who is indeed the best name in baseball history.

We’re proud to present the Best Name in Baseball History Bracket presented by Baseball-Reference.

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You probably notice that there are a few notable baseball names missing from our bracket. “Where’s Rusty Kuntz?”, you wonder out loud, as the woman behind you in line at Starbucks throws you a perplexed look. “How did they miss Rougned Odor?”, you plea to your history professor as you exit class. With the aforementioned 19th century flamethrower Pretzels Getzein being our inspiration for this whole thing, we’ve almost exclusively limited our B-Ref Battle names to players from the pre-war era. This is not because we don’t appreciate the countless amazing names scattered throughout affiliated rosters over the past 70 years. Look no further than our 2015 team previews, which listed the best names in each organization’s minor leagues. But the spirit of the B-Ref Battle has always had a historic tilt. Thus, no player born after September 2nd, 1945, the official end of WWII, was permitted onto our bracket.

A few other rules and regulations:

  • For a name to be eligible, it must be the one prominently displayed on his baseball-reference page, not just a nickname listed in parentheses (Example: Puddin’ Head Jones is listed as Willie Jones; Chicken Wolf is listed as Chicken Wolf)
  • While baseball-reference does have managerial pages, we kept this bracket to players-only. Sorry, Kid Fears and Jew Hellman.
  • If you’ve scavenged minor league rosters from the pre-war era, you’ve more than likely come across incomplete pages that list a mere word as the player’s name. So while names like”Beer“, “Book“, “Ping“, “Plant“, and “Sphere” are certainly amusing, names of such ilk were ineligible for bracket selection.
  • Seeding and selection was based on us each picking our 32 favorite names out of our comprehensive list of 350+ that have appeared on the B-Ref Battle podcast segment. We regrettably had to leave out at least 50 that were worthy of this bracket.
  • VOTING: You may only vote once per match-up.

We are also excited to announce that the official sponsor of our Best Name Bracket is — you guessed it! — baseball-reference.com! Right now, you can head over to http://www.baseball-reference.com/play-index/bbq.shtml and use the coupon code “bbq” to get $6 off a one-year subscription to the Play Index, an invaluable tool for answering all your ridiculously specific statistical queries about baseball history. In addition, our weekly B-Ref Battle podcast segment will also be brought to you by baseball-reference — you’ll hear us talk more about the Play Index on our next episode, Barbecast 81.

Use the hashtag #BBQBestNameBracket when campaigning for your favorite surname to win it all — especially all you Yam Yaryan die-hards. If you’re feeling particularly confident, you can print and fill out a bracket (click here for PDF) and send us a picture of your picks. We’ll retweet any lunatic who has Milo Trpkosh in the Final Four. And if you somehow manage a perfect bracket, we’ll totally give you a billion dollars.

>>> CLICK HERE FOR THE BRACKET <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 1 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ROUND 2 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR SWEET 16 RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR ELITE EIGHT RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR FINAL FOUR RESULTS <<<

>>> CLICK HERE FOR CHAMPIONSHIP RESULTS <<<

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Where Will Yo Go? A Comprehensive Guide to Yoenis Cespedes’ Free Agency

Where Will Yo Go? A Comprehensive Guide to Yoenis Cespedes' Free Agency

Yoenis Cespedes is a free agent. He can sign with whomever he wants, though it’s most likely that he’ll sign with a major league baseball team. We thought about selling all of our shirseys to try and make a run at Yo, but we realized he’s probably not interested in a 1-year, 74-dollar deal.

Unless he decides to join the PGA Tour earlier than expected, Yoenis is going to make a lot of money this winter — probably more than he’s actually worth. Barring an MC Hammer-level financial meltdown, Yoenis will never have to worry about money again after signing this contract. Not bad for a quiet dude from Campechuela.

Before the Yoenis sweepstakes heat up, we’d like to run through each team and investigate their prospects of signing the man with the fire-breathing Lamborghini.

31. Cespedes Family BBQ

Why Yes: We’re like, his biggest fans. We met him once and it seemed like he could tolerate us as friends for a longer period of time. We could hang out with Yoenis Cespedes on a regular basis.

Why No: We don’t have anything of value to offer to Yo, let alone millions upon millions of real actual dollars, which seems to be a key aspect to signing a big-time free agent.

30. Tampa Bay Rays

Why Yes: Yoenis already has a home in Florida. He could golf even more than he already does. This opens up the possibility of him swimming in the stingray pool at some point.

Why No: The most expensive free agent signing in the post-Devil Rays era, was the whopping 3-year $21 million deal they gave to James Loney a few years ago. No chance they can afford Yoenis, let alone his new car.

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The MLB Fan Cave: A Eulogy

It’s a sad day in BBQLand.B9Z9wl8IIAEtn1R

 

 

 

MLB announced this morning that they plan to shut down the MLB Fan Cave. It’s currently unclear exactly what they plan to do with the physical space as well as the over 500,000 Twitter followers, but for us here at the Cespedes Family Barbecue the news is most certainly sad. We were lucky enough to spend a fair amount of time at the Cave this past summer and while we were impressed with the awesomeness of the actual facility, what really struck us was the depth and breadth of creative content the people over there had created.

We don’t know why the Fan Cave is ceasing operations, and we might never know, but I think it’s important to recognize some of the amazing content those behind the scenes were able to create. So here are a few of my favorite videos/vines/whatever that they developed over the past four years.

Vlad Guerrero/50 Cent

https://vine.co/v/MptdYeqY3Ep/embed/simplehttps://platform.vine.co/static/scripts/embed.jsThis is arguably the best baseball-related thing of all time. If I could either watch this or Barry Bonds for the rest of my life, I’d probably pick Barry Bonds highlights, but it’s really, really close. This Vine captures what really set the Fan Cave content apart: it had a perfect combination of the ideas, resources, and abilities needed to achieve a vine as perfect and as beautiful as this one.

Chase Utley Always Sunny

I still think about whether or not Chase Utley actually watches the show or if the people at the Fan Cave had to sit him down and make him watch Charlie and Frank fighting over a dog painting that Hitler may or may not have made (I know it’s not the same episode).

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The Mysterious Case of Bobblehead Yuni

Yesterday, former major league shortstop Yuniesky Betancourt turned 33. While I am certainly not the only fan who maintains a love-hate relationship with Yuni, I like to think I’ve kept it up longer than most, for better or for worse (definitely for worse). My affinity for Yuni stems from his three-plus years as my beloved Mariners’ starting shortstop. As some of you know, we like to have fun with the @Mariners over on the Twitter machine. It’s pretty clearly the best MLB team Twitter account, and we enjoy interacting with them from time to time. However, I quickly learned the hard way that @Mariners can troll with the best of them.

In November of 2013, I purchased a 2008 Seattle Mariners Yuniesky Betancourt bobblehead on eBay. It was a ridiculous purchase, but my the desk in my dorm room was in need of another member; Cobra Bubbles and Count Chocula needed another running mate. And so, Bobblehead Yuni joined them.

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.jsThat “crazy shit” turned out to be signing that Robinson Cano guy to a lot of years for a lot of money. That was pretty exciting! I began to trust Bobblehead Yuni to emotionally guide me through the dangerous hot stove season with that confident smile of his. For a while, this coping strategy worked like a charm. When the Mariners traded my irrationally beloved Carter Capps to Miami, Bobblehead Yuni was there for me. When the Mariners gave Corey Hart’s knees $6 million, Bobblehead Yuni was there for me. When the Mariners gave Willie Bloomquist a two-year deal, you’re god damn right Bobblehead Yuni was there for me. Suddenly, disaster struck. At some point over the first few weeks of my spring semester, Bobblehead Yuni mysteriously disappeared. I was horrified. What transpired over the next several months cannot be explained with words…but it can be explained with tweets. In honor of his birthday, here it is: the mysterious case of Bobblehead Yuni.

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In Memoriam: The Tommy John Victims of 2014

As much as we wanted to end the year on the positive note, we decided to take a somber look back at the many arms we lost to Tommy John in 2014. We hope that many of these guys will make it back in 2015 or later, and knowing the surgery’s success rate, there’s a good chance that will be the case. However, the epidemic of UCL tears at the beginning of the year will be always be a defining factor of the 2014 season. Even losing these young arms for a year is tough to watch, and we don’t really know if they’ll ever be the same.

We wish all of these pitchers the best of luck with their lengthy, tiresome rehab process. Especially you, Jose. Please come back soon.

Welcome Yo 2 Detroit

When Yo was traded to Boston at the end of July, we were downright shocked. It was a jarring, emotional experience for us, for A’s fans, and for many Yo enthusiasts across the world. But, as with anything, we came to terms with it and embraced his new home in Boston.

Going into the off-season, we knew Yo had a decent chance of being moved. He’s a free agent after the 2015 season, and Boston was already loaded with young outfielders ready to play every day. Then, in a 48-hour span, the chance of Yo having a future in Boston was all but destroyed by the Red Sox signing a large panda and Apparent Left Fielder Hanley Ramirez. At that point, we knew Yo was toast. It was only a matter of time before Boston found a team to trade our hero to for a starting pitcher not named Yoenis Cespedes. Boston decided to move on. We totally understand.

This morning, the Boston Red Sox traded Yo to the Detroit Tigers for a Rich Porn Seller. I can’t imagine why the Red Sox would feel that this, salesman of sorts, will help their rotation…but that’s their prerogative. What matters now is that Yo is a Tiger, and we are excited as ever to see what kind of damage he can do in the same lineup as one of the best hitters in baseball, J.D. Martinez. We hope Tigers fans grow to love Yo as much as we do.

Welcome to Detroit.

Our Fall TBS Show Ideas

The LDS on TBS have been somewhat of a disaster. The only thing worse than the production of the games are the shows advertised in between innings. We decided to put our money where our mouths are (which is gross if you think about it) and came up with our own baseball themed TBS show ideas. 

Cuban Mistletoe Crisis

Premise: Oh no! It’s almost Christmas, but Yoenis Cespedes and his countrymen Yasiel Puig, Jose Fernandez, Jose Dariel Abreu, and Jorge Soler don’t have any mistletoe to hang up at their Christmas dinner. 

Pitch: The rise of Cuban players has been one of the biggest stories in baseball this year. And everyone loves Christmas!

Mike Trout Highlights

Premise: Baseball Jesus just does things while we watch.

Pitch: Would instantly be the best show on television.

Spelling Xander Bogaerts

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Premise: The top 10 finishers in last year’s National Spelling Bee have to spell baseball’s unspellable names.

“Can you use that in a sentence?” 

“Sure. I went to the grocery store and was promptly robbed by a cross-faded Jarrod Saltalamacchia”

Pitch: Who doesn’t want to watch 10 Indian kids disappoint their parents while Adeiny Hechavarria and Matt Tuiasosopo laugh at them? 

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