CATCHERS LOSE IT

by jakemintz

THIS POST IS ALL CAPS BECAUSE THE CONTENT IS AWESOME.

THIS LINK IS A VIDEO OF YADI MOLINA LOSING HIS MIND OVER A BAD CALL.

HIS 3000 POUND BROTHER THEN TRIES TO HOLD HIM BACK AS MIKE MATHENY ALSO GOES BIZONKERS AT THE UMPIRE.

BASICALLY ITS A BUNCH OF CATCHERS JUST RUNNING AROUND AND YELLING.

P.S. We would embed it, but we are too cheap to buy that WordPress upgrade. So sorry.

These Cleats Are Made For Walking: Jeff Keppinger Is Still Amazing

by Jordan Shusterman

We’re about nine weeks into the 2013 season, and every player with at least 70 plate appearances have managed at least two walks. Doesn’t mean we can’t mock those at the bottom of my favorite leaderboard ! Let’s take a quick look.

Our all-time favorite Jeff Keppinger didn’t manage a single walk last week. He’s up to 190 plate appearances and still has only two walks. 

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.gifs From Last Night: Bartolo Colonoscopy

by jakemintz

Athletics vs. Brewers

Two weird teams played each other last night in Milwaukee, which is a city I always need spell-check for. The A’s won 5-1, but that wasn’t the most important moment of the game, not even close. Bartolo Colon is old and silly and slightly chubby, but none of those attributes explain what he is glaring at in the .gif above. What is it? CFB is going to try to unravel this mystery once and for all. We’ve narrowed it down to three possibilities:

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A Puig of Their Own

by jakemintz

So I kind of took a break with the whole photo-shopping thing for a couple reasons. I don’t think I’m that good at it, they are extremely cheesy, and they take up a lot of time. Recently, Jordan has been on me about doing more of them so I finally gave in. So without further ado, I present to you the newest Hollywood Blockbuster about one ragtag dreamer who dared to believe: A Puig of Their Own.

Jake’s Draft Trinkets

by jakemintz

Hello all. The draft! Yay!!!!

Houston Astros: March Apple

  • I totally thought Kevin died, good to see he lives on.
  • I’m sure Appel will fit in great in the most Christian city in America? Maybe?
  • I love Appel’s floor almost as much as Appel loves Jesus Christ.

Chicago Cubs: Crisp Rye Ant

  • Kerry Wood in the house is giving everyone the sads.
  • Two Christs in a row.
  • “Jayson Werth, Troy Glaus, and Pat Burrell rolled into one.”

Colorado Rockies: Joan Ass Thing Ray

  • Think about just how far he could throw in Coors.
  • Can’t tell if this is a Superman ad or Gray’s fastball. Huzzah.

Minnesota Twins: Cold Steward

  • Good to see Tony Oliva’s wilting face.
  • From Tomball, Texas, which sounds like a game Tom made up.
  • Player Comparison: Josh Beckett (Does that mean he golfs and acts like a drunk hobo too? Go Twins!)

Cleveland Indians: Clit Rager

  • Rumor around town is that Indians will take hometown kid Sitting Bull.
  • Do you want some sushi with that ginger?
  • That is the least Indian looking Indian ever, besides Nick Swisher.
  • Frazier is clearly ecstatic to be going to Cleveland… said no one ever.

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The Most Predictable CFB Post of All Time: The Best Names of the 2013 MLB Draft

by Jordan Shusterman

You were expecting a list of the best names from this year’s First Year Player Draft ?

Arizona Diamondbacks: 

  • Pick #300: RHP Jimmie Sherfy – University of Oregon (Oregon)
  • Pick #750: RHP Bud Jeter – Presbyterian College (South Carolina)
  • Pick #840: RHP Jimmy Shuttlesworth – Faulkner University (Alabama)
  • Pick #900: 2B Denver Chavez – Cal Poly-San Luis Obispo (California)
  • Pick #1050: RHP Tyler Toyfair – University of Massachusetts Lowell (Massachusetts)

Atlanta #BARVES:

  • Pick #223: RHP Ian Stiffler – Somerset Senior High School (Pennsylvania)
  • Pick #283: 3B Dylan Manwaring – Horseheads High School (New York)
  • Pick #313: 3B Ian Hagenmiller – Palm Beach Central High School (Florida)
  • Pick #793: RHP Dakota Dill – Sul Ross State University (Texas)
  • Pick #913: RHP Sterling Sharp – North Farmington High School (Michigan)

Baltimore Orioles:

  • Pick #61: C Chance Sisco – Santiago High School (California)
  • Pick #399: RHP Jimmy Yacabonis – Saint Joseph’s University (Pennsylvania)
  • Pick #909: SS Federico Castagnini – Creighton University (Nebraska)
  • Pick #1029: RHP Parker Bugg – Rancho Bernando High School (California)
  • Pick #1179: LHP Augey Bill – University of Arizona (Arizona)

Boston Red Sox:

  • Pick #45: RHP Teddy Stankiewicz – Seminole State University (Oklahoma)
  • Pick #233: OF Forest Allday – University of Central Arkansas (Arkansas)
  • Pick #713: 3B Jantzen Witte – Texas Christian University (Texas)
  • Pick #743: RHP Derik Beauprez – Cherry Creek High School (Colorado)
  • Pick #923: 1B Ryan Rippee – Jefferson College (Missouri)

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These Cleats Are Made For Walking: A New Contender

by Jordan Shusterman

Don’t have a ton of time for today’s walk-total mockery, but I have to point out a certain Yankee who is following in Kepp’s footsteps.

The New York Yankees recently called up third baseman David Adams from Triple-A. He was sporting a solid .897 OPS there before being called up, but Adams has begun has major league career with zero walks through his first 71 plate appearances. 

He’ll have to work on that. In other news, our hero Jeff Keppinger didn’t manage a walk for the second consecutive week, keeping his total at two through 201 plate appearances. 

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